Schema Therapy Training Institute

   Schema Therapy Training Institute

Fortifying the Therapy Relationship in
Schema Therapy

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How to Deal with Some of the Most Challenging Clients

Wendy Behary and Jeff Conway

This video series is grounded in an understanding, both conceptually and practically, of the essential value of the therapy relationship in schema therapy; not only as a means for creating a safe refuge for connection, empathy, trust, and openness, but also as a context in which schemas and schema modes can become triggered and expeditiously addressed.

Experience what we have learned from many years of working with some of our most challenging patients.

  • You will have access to watch 10 different case vignettes of some of the most challenging types of patients we encounter in the treatment room.  
  • You will witness “teachable moments” in every vignette, where we step out of the role play to identify our own triggers and how to bypass schemas and schema modes that lead to ineffective outcomes. 
  • You will also have the opportunity to listen in as Wendy and Jeff discuss the case in a debrief following each vignette.

Activated events in the therapy relationship can serve as microcosmic representations of the patient’s real-life experiences outside the treatment room; interactions that occur with significant and important others, as well as with self.  This dynamic, which calls upon us to maintain a sturdy narrator and a healthy adult posture, can serve as a powerful opportunity for schema investigation and schema healing; providing a gateway to real-time awareness of the underlying pain and suffering that prompts mode shifts.

The therapy relationship, chock full of dual activations for both patient and therapist, allows for opportunities for the therapist to appreciate and report on the resonant “as if” experience they imagine others may feel; those engaged in various forms of relationship with our patient. The use of transparency and self-disclosure can act as a helpful guide for our patients to sense, see, feel, and ultimately, transform their critical, demanding, punitive, and maladaptive modes into healthy and adaptive ones.

In our many years of experience, we find this phenomenon is especially true when dealing with some of our most challenging patients, for example, those with rigid narcissistic modes and/or deeply ingrained core schemas like enmeshment and mistrust/abuse. 

As we empathically (and courageously) attend to what is happening between us in the therapy relationship, schemas and modes can be identified and tracked, imagery can be bridged from this stance, and a trusting attachment can be solidified. In so doing, we build a sturdier foundation by which we might better utilize the many robust schema therapy experiential exercises, improve collaboration and fortify a better limited reparenting bond… leading to effective treatment outcomes.

What's Inside

1. Introduction

2. Addressing Narcissism in the Therapy Relationship

3. Addressing Anger and Limits in the Therapy Relationship

4. Addressing a Strong Inner Critic Mode in the Therapy Relationship

5. Addressing the Complexity of the Enmeshment/Undeveloped Self in the Therapy Relationship

6. Addressing Hypersexuality as a Self-Stimulating Mode and its Relationship with the Internalized Demanding Mode in Narcissism

7. Addressing Fears of Deprivation and Abandonment Following an Anger Mode Directed at the Therapist

8. Addressing Anxious Self-Sacrifice and a Hyper-Vigilant Mode

9.  Addressing a Profound Failure Schema and an Internalized Critic

10. Addressing Defectiveness, Loneliness and Isolation, Conflicts of Trust after Infidelity

11. Addressing Emotional Inhibition and the Detached Protector ("Soldier Mode") Mode

12. Wrap up

About the Trainers

Wendy Behary

With 25+ years professional experience and advanced level certifications, Wendy Behary is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC-DC. She has been treating clients, training professionals and supervising psychotherapists for more than 20 years. Wendy was on the faculty of the Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of New York (until the Institutes merged in 2012), where she trained and worked with Dr. Jeffrey Young since 1989. She is a founding fellow and consulting supervisor for The Academy of Cognitive Therapy (Aaron T. Beck’s Institute).  Wendy served the President of the Executive Board of the International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST) from 2010-2014, and is currently the chair of the Schema Therapy Development Programs Sub-Committee for the ISST; She also served as the Training and Certification Coordinator for the ISST Executive Board from 2008-2010.
Wendy Behary has co-authored several chapters and articles on Schema Therapy and Cognitive Therapy. She is the author of an international bestselling book, "Disarming the Narcissist...”  (New Harbinger, 2nd edition) translated in 12 languages.  Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them. As an author and an expert on the subject of narcissism, she is a contributing chapter author of several chapters on schema therapy for narcissism for professional readers. She lectures both nationally and internationally to professional and general audiences on schema therapy, narcissism, interpersonal relationships, anger, and dealing with difficult people. She receives consistent high praise for her clear and articulate teaching style and her ability to bring the therapy to life through dramatic demonstrations of client interactions in the treatment room.
Her work industry business speaking engagements focus on interpersonal conflict resolution. Her private practice is primarily devoted to treating narcissists, partners/people dealing with them, and couples experiencing relationship problems.


Behary, Wendy T. and Davis, Denise D; Chapter 14, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Beck, Aaron; Davis Denise; Freeman, Arthur, Cognitive Therapy of Personality Disorders, 3rd Edition; Guilford, October 2014.

Behary, Wendy, Disarming the Narcissist...Surviving and Thriving with the Self- Absorbed, New Harbinger Publications; 2nd edition, July 2013

Behary, Wendy
Article: “Challenging The Narcissist, How to Find Pathways to Empathy” Psychotherapy Networker (July/August, 2013)

Behary, Wendy & Dieckmann, Eva, MD, Schematherapie: Ein Ansatz zur Behandlung narzisstischer Persönlichkeitsstörungen, Translation: “Pattern therapy: A Beginning for the Treatment of Narcissistic Personality Disturbances”, Germany 2010.

Behary, Wendy, Article: ‘In Consultation’: The Way To Say It... Taking on Some of the Most Challenging Moments in the Treatment Room, Psychotherapy Networker, May/June, 2010

Behary, Wendy, Disarming The Narcissist...Surviving and Thriving With The Self- Absorbed, New Harbinger Publications, 2008 (1st Edition)

Behary, W., Dieckmann, E. Chapter: The Art of Adaptive Re-Parenting in the Treatment of Narcissism, Ogrodniczuk, John S., Editor, Understanding and Treating Pathological Narcissism, American Psychological Association; 1st edition (January 16, 2013)

Behary, W., Chapter: Schema Therapy for Narcissism; van Vreeswijk, M, Broersen, J, and Nadort, M, editors: The Wiley-Blackwell Handbook of Schema Therapy: Theory, Research and Practice, Wiley-Blackwell; 1st Edition, March 22, 2012.

Behary, W. and Dieckmann, E., Chapter 40, Schema Therapy for Narcissism: The Art of Empathic Confrontation, Limit-Setting, and Leverage; Campbell, W. Keith, and Miller, Joshua D., editors, The Handbook of Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Theoretical Approaches, Empirical Findings, and Treatments, Wiley Publications; 1 edition (August 9, 2011).

Jeffrey Conway, LCSW 

is a founding member of the International Society of Schema Therapy and is currently on the Executive Board of the ISST as Training Coordinator. He has served in various roles within the ISST and has been a ST Trainer and Supervisor since 2008.  He is also a Certified ST Couples Therapist and Trainer.  He is trained in Emotion Focused Therapy, an innovative model for couples’ therapy based on Attachment Theory, and is a founder of The New York Center for Emotion Focused Therapy.   He is also a Certified Group Therapist and has led 2 Psychodynamic Groups for over 15 years.  Jeff also has expertise on the Enmeshment and Undeveloped Self Schema and has provided training and supervision on conceptualizing and establishing strategies to help heal this Unconditional Schema.  Special focus of this work has been the impact of the Enmeshment Schema on primary relationships and strategizing ways to address this Schema in the context of couples’ treatment.

10 Videos, 3 1/2 Hours of Educational Videos
To Improve Your Practice.

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